I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
