planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
