I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
