this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
