She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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