she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
