As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He passed out mid-signature
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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