You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
