She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
