one word: firstdatebathroomanal
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
