Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
