shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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