Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The struggles of a small town man whore
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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