Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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