I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
