i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
