but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
