but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm like, not good at living.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
