Well douche your snatch and let's go!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
