you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
