she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
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