i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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