I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
