my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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