Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
