Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
