I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
