Apparently you make a good broom.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
