I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
