his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just had sex on a roof
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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