Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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