Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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