You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
