you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
