I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
