eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
