i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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