Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(325): View more from Texas

I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka

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(410): View more from Maryland

If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.

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(941): View more from Florida

Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?

(571): View more from Virginia

Fuck you.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time

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(540): View more from Virginia

i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.

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