You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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