Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
