I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
