Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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