dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She bit a glass in half.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
