What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
