i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
