I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
