spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
