I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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