6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
