I'm going to rape someone's good day.
do herpes really smell.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
pray to the hookup gods
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
